Jubilee’s getting a much-deserved reward for practicing  “stop, pivot, turn, and go” over and over, so we can safely and effectively work cattle. Building this muscle memory helps us change direction quickly and efficiently.

She’s small and athletic, so it’s easy to “cheat” by making fast, hairpin turns instead of solid stops and pivots. This can cause regrettable mistakes, so there can’t be any cheat days. For horse and rider to really work a cow well, it takes discipline, flow, grace, and grit. It’s like a rare, beautiful dance.

Practicing this is important in life, too. Stop and pivot away from bad habits. Turn and go toward good habits. It takes mental and spiritual muscle memory, created by over and over practice, and likewise, cheating can cause regrettable mistakes.

I haven’t mastered these things yet, but keep working at it!

Somewhere I read that when the time it takes to recognize we’re on a wrong path, and then change courses, happens more quickly, it’s a sign of maturity. This encourages me to keep persevering, because that’s how we grow, even when we’re all grown up.

That’s why i stay in training, and that’s why I keep my horse in training – so we can do the things we need to do, when we need to do them, in the arena and in life.

Stop, pivot, turn, go. Flow, grace, grit. No cheat days. Goals.

#horsemanship #cowhorse

Its been a while since I’ve written. I’ve been getting over some things.

We all experience disappointments, traumas, deaths, deaths of dreams. Challenges, adversities, obstacles to overcome, hopefully followed by forward movement, growth. Some take two minutes, some two years, some twenty. Some we never really get over.

Sometimes Fear results, a whole different thing to overcome. We fear a bad experience happening again, or feeling the pain again, whether physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. Fear serves us for a while, keeping us safe, and there’s comfort in safety.

Recently I met a beautiful, free, young wrangler, and galloped full speed with her near the top of Pikes Peak on a horse named Dunny. When we triumphantly crested the top of the ridge, that horse stomped his feet, as if saying “over it!”, and, in my spirit, I did too! I finally overcame fear: Fear of Falling, after experiencing a trauma with my horse, Jubilee.

Somehow, after that, I was able to conquer another fear, one I’d been struggling with for twenty years: Fear of Failing, after experiencing a personal disappointment long ago. Guess what? I’m over it.

I can’t help quoting my characters Rex and Ruby, kid reporters from my series Kids on Assignment -the Adventures of Rex and Ruby, whose byline is: “Overcoming obstacles, with teamwork, perseverance, and a little help from the Chief”. It’s the point of every episode, and the point of every episode of our lives.

Fear served me for a while, but it doesn’t serve me anymore.

Over it.

Next episode!

It’s spring and we’ve had a lot of rain. The ground is soaking, and so am I.

“Soaking” is a word I’ve come to appreciate in new ways. My riding instructor uses it at the end of a session, when we stop and reward our horses with time to absorb what we did. Yoga instructors teach this practice too, and I’ve begun incorporating it into my fitness classes. It goes against the tendency to move quickly from one thing to the next.

Soaking takes time – time out to assimilate what was experienced or learned,whether good, bad, happy, or sad. Time is a gift and reward we can give ourselves – a break from regular activities to reflect on things we’ve done, heard, read, or experienced, and may even reveal recurrent themes and trends that help us persevere and grow in our lives.

Meditation and prayer are also forms of this. Soaking up love in the recesses of our hearts, and like puddles after the rain, creating reservoirs that spill over into other’s lives.

Soak it in. Soak it up. Soak on it.

The rain has stopped, the sun is out.

I think I’ll soak up some sunshine.

I just found out my blood type matches my personality type: A+

I’m a recovering overachiever. Some of you know what I’m talking about: The student with the constant, enthusiastically raised hand, that the teacher gets tired of calling on. The person who wants to make everyone happy and get everything right.

But that’s not very realistic, is it? And it can be destructive to ourselves, our progress, and our relationships.

Once, in third grade, my class had inside recess on a rainy day. For fun, the teacher put an eighth-grade math problem on the board and challenged us to solve it. As usual, up went my hand, and this time she calls on me. Stepping to the front of the classroom, I write out my solution, but didn’t get it right. I guess my teacher thought it part of the fun to punish a third grader for getting an eighth- grade problem wrong, so she slapped my calves with a yardstick. I’ll never forget the shame and embarrassment. Throughout my life, every time I got something wrong, or made a mistake, it felt just like that third- grade experience.

Sometimes we need to adjust our expectations! Hence, the “recovering”.

Recover by accepting what we cannot change (like other peoples’ happiness, our own shortcomings and failures), by having the courage to change what we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Aspire, Adjust, Aim, Alter, Admit, Agree, Accept, Affirm, Achieve, Accomplish, Attain.

Alliterations intended.

Now that’s A+.

“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway” John Wayne

Fatigue, Footing, and Form Factored in. We Fell. Hard. Jubilee jumped up, mad at losing to her archrival and nemesis, the little black steer. But I didn’t. An ambulance carried me away, and after months of recovery and rehabilitation I was scared to death to get back in the saddle.

The comeback took time, patience, grace. Grace says, “work through it”, “here’s how” “take your time.” Grace came from trainers, family, friends, my horse, but not so much from me. When we have a setback, we can be mad at ourselves about progress, fear, anxiety. Or blame ourselves.

As a fitness instructor I hear a lot about injuries and various physical setbacks. People are surprised to learn that, since muscle memory is cumulative, comebacks are faster the longer we live.

Can this cumulative muscle memory work for emotional, mental, spiritual, setbacks as well? Can comebacks be quicker and stronger the longer we live? I sure hope so, and thought of it inspires me, because setbacks will keep coming.

Setbacks to comebacks. That’s the story of our lives.

We may be scared to death. Saddle up anyway. Just like John Wayne.

I’m cutting a wisdom tooth! Shouldn’t that happen earlier in life? I’m a late bloomer, but I know I’m not the only one. In fact, a famous author recently used these exact words to describe himself in an interview. Why? Because he’s working on a completely different kind project, with renewed purpose, relatively late is his life.

Everyone  can relate to this feeling. When we’re working on something with a sense of renewed purpose, or “calling”. When we feel we’re doing exactly what we’re born to do.

But it’s not always that way.One day we’re inspired, the next we’re muddling through. Major events, planned or unplanned, intrude. Losing something or someone we love sets us back. Experiencing failure or disappointment interrupts or stops our progress. We fade back, hide out, dissipate in all manner of ways. We may busy ourselves, but our hearts aren’t in it. We lose time.

But what if our story happens after life is interrupted? What if interruptions, failures and disappointments are setting us up for a story that will blow us away? Because our real story is about character, and how we develop it.

Like this wisdom tooth, we may think some things should have happened earlier in life. We may think we left something behind, or unfinished, and that our chance has passed us by.

Let’s try again. Do things differently. And let it be easier this time.

“re” is the key to being free.

Re-do, re-vamp, re-invent. Re-start, revisit, revise. Re-inspire.

Let’s keep blooming, even if it’s late.

My horse, Jubilee, is getting a mani-pedi today. I watch as the farrier removes her shoe, lifts her left front hoof and places it on a 3-foot high pedestal. He files the rough edges before placing a new shoe over it. Music comes from the truck, and I watch Jubilee’s eyes soften. Soft eyes are something I look for on my horse. It’s a sign she’s relaxed and trusting.

I want her to have soft eyes when I ride her, too, and think it starts with soft hands. Softening my hands on the reigns.

I hold a lot of tension and energy in my hands, so this is something I’m learning. From early childhood, due to admonitions at home and in the classroom to “settle down”, I’ve had a habit of squeezing my thumbs in my fists, to control excess energy. I never really settle down: the nervous energy just transfers to my hands.

This tightness can travel inward and upward, into arms, shoulders, neck, jaw. Or downward and outward, into reigns, another’s hand, or someone else’s spirit.

Soft hands don’t just apply to handling horses. It’s about using only the amount of energy necessary to accomplish the job, not more. We can practice by lightening our touch in daily tasks. For example: hold the knife gently when cutting food. Brush teeth with a loose grip on the toothbrush. Hold a pen or pencil lightly when writing or signing.

And we can practice soft hands in the figurative sense also.Loosen our grip on thoughts, circumstances beyond our control,and the need to make everyone happy. Stop squeezing our fists, open our hands to give our lives, our work, our love. Leave them open to receive blessings, contentment and peace.

Soft eyes begin with soft hands.

I think I’ll get a mani-pedi. Just like Jubilee.

Rapidly writing, Re-writing Resolutions (try this, it’s rewarding fun and free!).
Solve, Resolve, solve again, Re-Resolve.
Review, Re-visit, Renew, Repeat.
Re-visit rough roads when ready.
Re-question Reasons.
Re-visit Revelations.
Rescind negative messages to self and others.
Re-send positive messages.
Respect myself and others.
Reward myself and others.
Re-brand, Re-program, Re-set for good.
Reject irrelevant reprimands and references to mistakes.
Reclaim awards and rewards.
Return to good habits.
Re-invite and re-live good feelings.
Release, Reach, Renew, Revise.
Re-inspire
Re-everything = limitless living
Repetition is the mother of learning.
Re-learn.

“It’s all about feel”, says my instructor with zeal,
As I put up my horse “Jubilee”.
But this sense of “feel” (if I can be real),
Doesn’t always come naturally.

Need to lighten my touch,
Stop thinking so much,
Feel the flow, let it go, ho ho ho!

Like the jubilee that sets a heart free
At this seasonal time of year,
Or my horse who lopes and gallops with glee
Chasing the wind, or a steer.

I couldn’t be fonder of this double entendre,
Feeling joy as these rhymes come along.
My heart may explode as I write this ode:
“Jubilee”,  my freedom song.

It’s about transitioning. I like to ease into the day. Get coffee. Open the blinds. Sit, look out the window. Ready.

But lately it’s dark.  I get coffee. Open the blinds. Sit, look out the window. Nothing but blackness. Turn on a lamp. Too bright! Too abrupt!  Turn it off. Go back to sleep. 

Today I tried something different.  I repurposed a candle used for romantic evenings. Lighting it, I looked out the window with the warm glow of soft candle light beside me. Eased into the day. Candle-Day-Light. Ready.

When our four kids were small, Tom did something similar when arriving home from work. Repurposed his work truck by sitting in it at the curb ten minutes, preparing, easing into the craziness of life inside. Ready.  He called it transitioning.